One more kick at the ol bucket!

Well kids it has been another couple of months. I figured I would do a quick update on the ol blog to give everyone a bit of a laugh or two. I have stepped back a bit from working on this as, well, things are getting a bit mundane here in the middle of nowhere. Days weeks and months are rolling into a bit of a boring routine, start the day, Minecraft, work in the yard, Minecraft, Spend some time trying to survive, Minecraft, deal with a stupid person, Minecraft, and come inside and relax for a while, Minecraft, then do it all over the next day. Oh and if I get a chance I'll play a bit of Minecraft with Marianne.

About stupid persons.

A friend of mine used to have a quote he used  "stupid is as stupid does". Many people have asked me how do you define stupid. The best definition I have had of a stupid person is; a chronic abuser of the right to do something stupid. Definition of something stupid is "do the exact same thing and expect different results."

Latest stupid people issue, for this issue, comes from the formally good neighbor Kyle. Kyle has taken it on himself to become the self appointed guardian of the forest and protector of all things firewood. Also my personal watchman and informer.  (on the streets we would call him a rat or fink)

This all started last spring when we told him to get his traps and dead things off my yard for the fourth year in a row. However this time it was forced for him to do it.

He pissed off me and then he pissed off my wife. I am easy going you piss me off I'll get mad for an hour and then go play Minecraft and forget you ever existed. You piss off my wife and she will erect a giant monument in Minecraft dedicated to how much you pissed her off so she can get back to being pissed off every day for the rest of the time she plays Minecraft. She will then remind me every day that I am also supposed to be pissed off at what or whoever has pissed her off to begin with.

Anyhow, Our delightful intrepid hero of the forest and all things green was told a "story" about how someone got charged $1400 for harvesting firewood without a permit, He sent me a "friendly notice" that they were cracking down on firewood permits. He then took to doing patrols around my yard, He would check to see if I was collecting firewood and then go looking for where I may be cutting. Now a normal person would not be too upset if it was just idol curiosity but at 830 in the evening you do NOT drive my fence line by my house very slowly, and expect me not to be offended. When I confronted him he took to driving along my fence line between my yard and the road allowance. This is trespassing now. Now the coppers are called, Charges were pressed but the cops here would rather stick their head up their own ass rather than do anything. Kyle got a warning.

I figured this to be the end of it and took to clearing up my back yard and some brush that had fallen over my fence. I also had taken the time to have a chat with the person who holds the lease on that quarter. Something called courtesy. I know that most kids have an issue with the concept but you get permission to be on a piece of land, you also ask what the plans of the land holder is and if there is anything they would like you to deal with. He asked me to fix some fence and make sure the gates are closed.

I do just that and the very evening our intrepid hero is back over there again marking out and prowling around the quarter. You see he was not prowling around my yard anymore but as I cannot stop him from being on lease held public lands he was still sneaking around after dark and marking areas where I had been working. I am guessing he also took his pictures and whatnot then as well.

Anyhow I buttoned up the fences again and closed the gates, and our inspired defender of all things growing came by with bolt cutters and cut the gate and fence open. That is destruction of lease held government property, also known as vandalism, also a crime. He then began to run a brush mower in the pasture area that the lease holder had stated that he wanted to be left alone as he was attempting to let it go fallow for a couple of years. I confronted our little hero and told him that he was to close the damn gates and get out of there. he got very rude, and I told him that I did not care what he thought he had, you do not go start running a mower on someones pasture at 7:00 in the evening and you do not destroy fencing. I jabbed him in the chest and said stay away from my family, my house and from me, period! I then called the coppers yet again. However; as I had poked the little bugger in the chest he attempted to have me charged with assault. The nice police person had us place a peace bond  (restraining order) on him. Useless waste of two days of my time and money but hey a piece of paper is a piece of paper.

Now here is where the whole stupid person comes in. In May I contacted the forestry department about our intrepid hero's first letter. I found out the laws and rules and regulations about maintaining crown lands next to my property. I then got the correct papers for removing trees that were a threat to my yard and fence. After Kyle had decided to piss me off the last time I went to the local conservation office and asked why they were telling the little bugger to go run haying equipment on someone else's pasture lands. They stated that it was funny he would report me for cutting firewood without a permit and now I was reporting him for what he was up to.

We had a lovely discussion about permits and laws and lease held lands and maintenance zones and all sorts of things. I took the time to get a permit for firewood from that quarter, and inquired about the actual fines. It is twice the cost of the permit, by the way, and a $1400 firewood permit is for someone who would be attempting to deforest a quarter section without the correct paper. Not  little ol me going out and taking a couple chord of wood. I got the measurements for a chord of wood from them it is 8 feet by 8 feet by 4 feet, or if you took a standard sheet of plywood lay a second beside it and then placed one on its side to form a box that is a full chord of wood. My $26 permit for the two chord of wood I need for winter would have cost me a total of $62, in fines if they were to go out and actually catch me harvesting firewood without it. But they would have to also see me with the full 2 chord on my person at the time. Since it would cost them several hundred dollars to fill out the paperwork and to actually catch someone for a small amount it is not a feasible thing to do. The permits are a formality, the same as asking the land holder for permission.  

So back to stupid person, you see spending time to threaten me, harass me, stalk me and file bogus complaints against me resulted in you destroying any possibility of me EVER wanting to help you out in any way ever again. It destroyed your reputation here in the small town and you have basically shown yourself to be a true stupid troll of little or no skill or class. But the police now have a constant vested interest in you, you have a record on your files that will, no matter what anyone says, haunt you into adult hood. Congratulations.

Oh one last thing, You become what you love or you become what you hate.  You claim to hate criminals and busybodies, but you have become one by thumbing your nose at the law and getting involved in other peoples business. You claimed you hated farming and never wanted to be a farmer well... I had to tell the pig feed delivery truck where your place is the other day so, congratulations on becoming a pig farmer as well.

What I am doing!

Well after that lovely topic I need a coffee.... but you know you cannot get a cup of real honest coffee anywhere out here. It has been my dream to open a coffee shop and restaurant. If you have followed my adventures here on the blog you will recall when we moved here I had wanted to take the money from the sale of our home in Calgary and start a small business. That all fell through because I trusted Marianne's extended family to honor their word. I came out here and ended up with nothing and have been attempting to rebuild ever since.

Well this is my last shot. I am launching a crowd funding campaign with the edition of this blog. I NEED YOU! Please, if at any time ever I have made you laugh, if I have ever given you even the smallest of chuckles or if you hate me and only want to spit in my face. Please support the campaign! If you cannot place a dollar or two into the pot, please share it with all your friends or your enemies or people you want to have join you in spitting in my face. If you can place a buck or 25,000 into the pot and help me get this business started, you can help me bring some needed work back to the area.

You know for blog readers only I will add this following perk for $150,000 YOU can come down and spit in my face! As an added bonus I will even buy you a cup of tepid, coffee flavored, tap water from the local restaurant of your choice. You can then rest easy knowing that you did your part in helping me to provide employment for about 20 to 30 people out here. I will even dedicate my first bowl of mint mochachino to your almost fond memory, when I get the business built.

Anyhow

THIS IS THE LINK TO THE CAMPAIGN 

http://igg.me/at/CamperDreams

Please click the link and share the link and help keep the Inverted Cow here.

Well kids that is all for now I guess, and I never had a good picture of something to share. So here is one of the kids being cute.

Nothing going on here
put the camera away and no one gets hurt

Thanks for now

 Cheers C[_]

Now time for some Minecraft

June July 2014 dashed dreams and chasing rainbows

Hey kids, another 2 months gone by so soon. Here for us it is just basic survival now. So any real work on the place is totally not going to happen. We are facing the completely real probability of being homeless before winter. The house we live in is almost ready to collapse, another good winter storm and we may loose it. The mobile house I am hoping to get habitable before winter has a shopping list about 4 years worth of savings long. (not that we can save anything) I am barely able to keep the vehicles functioning, and the lawn mowers are all but shot. There will be no garden this year as the rototiller is still broken from last year and I cannot handle tilling that much garden by hand. I am grasping at straws and chasing farytails. With it I am watching the final struggling gasping efforts of my last chance to dream. If things do not turn for us in the next two months it is possible we have to return to the city and go back to "work".   I am not throwing in the towel just yet but, the fight is just not going away. Of course going back to the city guarantees that I will have lawyers suing, government people crawling, and people getting new assholes. So fair warning to the asshats who are driving us away, as long as we are here it is very difficult to get things done. In a place I do not want to be again I will be focused more on getting things.... done.

Alas poor Penny

Penny died a few weeks after my last post. I fed her a big shrub full of caterpillars that I found on the yard. Apparently the caterpillars were not good for her, she got sick and died. So now there are none. Yes of the 9 chickens not one lived one full year.

Nummy caterpillars? or toxic poison?
One dead chicken says not nummy bugs.

House Progress

The mobile house renovations are grinding to a total stop, I have installed the wiring as far as I am able. I need to get a new service panel, and all the plumbing, I have asked a few "friends" for help. Well with that kinda help I should be done in 3 or 4 years.

we at least got the stairs built,
using the materials for another project
that got stopped because someone was unwilling to fulfill a deal. 

Rainbows and Farytails

As I am on "assistance" I went to them and said I qualify for job placement help. They set me up with a "counselor"  She has pulled out all the dull knives in her inventory. Have you do a skills analysis, Help do a resume' Stuff they do for a fresh out of school kid looking for his first job, Not a 40 something year old who has been employed since he was 15. I have written so many resume's That I could teach on resume' writing skill. I have done so many skills analysis and personal skill studies that it is not possible to get any further information. I told them that I want to start a business, I have an idea for a business that should offer about 20 full time jobs, But the issue is the cost involved in the start-up.I talked to them at length about my idea. The consensus was "It is an ambitious plan, and would have a good probability of working; however it is outside the scope of what we are set up to handle." So in short form, Good idea, nice plan, but your a pauper, and will always be one, so quit dreaming, get a haircut, and get a real job, and shut up!

Ever get the feeling that people do not like success? Anyhow I am attempting to fabricate a usable kickstarter campaign. The problem is with all the positive feedback lately I have been having fun trying to get something good together. I have to break down a 3/4 million dollar idea into a few more bite sized pieces. I should have a post up soon about it and will hope that some of you people out there in the nether can help either by getting behind me financially or by sharing it with your circles of friends on the internet.

Asshats and Thieves

Some time after my last post I went out to work on one of the 3 or 4 projects I am poking away at. Installing an antenna to get better internet service. Only to find that somehow it vanished right off my yard from in front of the house. After reporting the theft to the police, I found where it went to, and reported that to the police as well. Now almost 2 months later they still have not gotten back to us about pressing charges. (see above line about being a pauper and go screw yourself) I can assure you that if I had a big fat wallet the cops would have had a car at my house the same day and then been knocking on someone else's door that afternoon. It is ok I just know who to trust even less, and when more tools or gas go missing from my place I will not feel badly about having the coppers called on them as it will not be "we found the empty jerry can on the road by our house" Or when I wait for over 3, and counting, months after asking that "borrowed" tools return home, I will have a hard time believing them that someone else was stealing their tools. Or any of the dozen other lies I have been fed the last two years.  Also I am not defending them when someone tells me they are lairs and thieves from a line of the same.  

Backbitten to death

Another outcast here that we were trying to help has passed away. You may remember Janet, the lady I attempted to help get her camper trailer home for? The one who always treated me with dignity and respect who I helped with keeping her from being unfairly evicted, and who I did several minor repairs for. Well shortly after she got moved into the closet sized apartment, she ended up in the hospital. apparently her liver and kidneys shut down. I am going to say from the bullshit and stress that has been dumped on her over the last couple of years. She apparently came so unstable that she could not even recognize friends. Even when she was in the hospital the people out here were saying to me "you stay away from her she is all bad news" Well you know, I have been around bad news since I was born. I think I can damn well decide who is worth the risk and who is not. So before you go slamming people who treat me well perhaps you need to address the other issues closer to your own home.

Another Outcast who was killed
 by the "kindness" of this place.

Floods and storms

We have also had yet another seriously bad summer start. A few nasty storms flooded most of the countryside, us included. We had a nasty surprise visit from some people from the government telling us to prepare to evacuate, or get ready to shelter in place. It made for a couple of stress filled days. After some time the rains quit, the road was fixed, everything dried out, and now it looks just fine.

 

Jensen Lagoon was refilled again

Under the trailer too

Road washed out 

Road closed here

road access is almost flooded

Lake st camper?
Or poor bastards cow pasture

Same field another shot

Not a repost of this guy's fields from 2011! 

Oh look brown tap water again! Thanks for helping fix the damages to the well....

Here drink this!

At least the flowers are blooming finally!

Final thoughts

You may say, "your an fine one to talk about disrespecting people" well it is true, I am an opinionated asshole of the finest quality. I do not mind saying to you or anyone else who will listen that I find something wrong with the way things appear. I also say "prove me wrong and I'll prove you right" I do not mind at all being made to look like I am blowing smoke out of my arse. I am NOT God, Yes I can admit it, Even though people say I look like Jesus, I am not him. I do not have all the facts and can therefor only work on the appearances that I have from my own observations.

I have called Brian Smith a incompetent micro-manger, Bruce Law an overstepping idiot who fears responsibility, I openly tell people to not use Blaine's small motor repairs in Ashern because he flatly refused to do business with me the first time I went into his shop. I tell people that Noordenbros is a crook and will not do a good job. I will say do not deal with Dun Rite septic as the guy is a prick who told my wife off. I will tell you do not believe a word that comes out of any McCosh's mouth as they have proven themselves to be lairs and thieves. Ill tell you to avoid Canadian Tire for anything automotive as they will screw you over in a heartbeat. The thing is I also know a half dozen other people who will say all the above and more, every time. I will also tell you that Roy's tire in Ashern is the best tire guy I have seen in years, and he never screwed me over not once, I will recommend the Moosehorn hotel for some good eats and not bad costs. The problem is the list of good and honest people is only small to the lists of asshats.

So you see I know who I am, I know who you are presenting yourself to be. I also know that time proves things to be correct, and I know that I can choose to find out for myself or believe the "free advice" of the gossips and backbiters.

I am not dead yet, Therefore I still have fight left in me. I may be backed into a corner, but I am not down yet.

Little guy knocked down by the storms
Kept trying to fly away, Just a little too young.
But still fighting non the less