Betrayal

Dear Inverted Cow friends,  I had hoped to install another burst of humor, laughter and awe into your lives this week, but due to unforeseen circumstances I will not.

3 Weeks ago Marianne left to go visit an old friend in Calgary. I had some reservations as this was an old Boyfriend. She was to have a fifth avenue show and visit an AA meeting or two to catch up on old times. Since then SOMETHING has happened. I am at this time unable to know what or why but for the last 2 weeks all I get are cryptic messages. She has my camera so I am unable to show any pictures of anything, and she was supposed to take a few snaps of the house we left in Calgary. Since she has decided to betray everyone I do not have the pictures or the stories I had hoped.

My heart is very heavy as I am attempting to understand why someone would walk away from a healthy marriage and  not give an explanation. She says she needs space. I am fighting my demons, the rage, the anger, the jealousy, the uncontrollable desire to cause serious hurt to those who would take from me what I have fought so long and hard to nurture.

I am told I am controlling, But I willingly gave up many aspects of my life just to give you the freedom to grow. I endured hardships both financial and physical, to give you space and time when you need it. I have done things that NO OTHER person would ever do, so that you can heal. I have been there through the worst that life has to offer and now just because you met your old boyfriend  for 40 some odd years back I have to give everything up so you can be happy?

Friends  I am stressed beyond measure. Today I had an opportunity to visit with the folks and I found out that her dad is  no longer sleeping more than a few hours, the reason the stress caused because she wants "space". Give us enough time my darling and you will have your space as there will be no one alive in your wake. You are killing those who love you most just so you can enjoy your indulgences.

Now here is a kicker, I vent off some pain. I say that your actions are causing me to say "OW" and I will be told that I am controlling or something. Well marriage is a 2 way street, there is some give and take  but there is always compromise. But now it is your taking and me compromising. Perhaps you need to think about what you are doing and come home so we can work it out, and the people in AA who are saying "leave your husband"  they are wrong Your husband is the best support system you can have.  At least up till you start sticking the knives in his back.

Friends If you know Marianne please help her work this out before it kills someone.

Genesis 19:26 But Lot's wife looked back,and she became a pillar of salt.
You cant look back! You cannot live in the past.